THE WAY OF WOMEN: Discovering the Elements of Divine Womanhood
a perspective on understanding, exploring, & celebrating
My Journey
Growing up as a practicing member of the Church of Jesus Christ, I didn’t have that many questions about the church or gospel doctrine. But as I grew older, life became more complicated, personal revelation felt more complicated, I had some difficult trials, and also friends that experienced the world differently than I did. I began to have more questions and wonderings. One of those wonderings was: How do I become like my Heavenly Mother? Boys and men seem to have some pretty straight forward steps to take that are particular to them becoming like Heavenly Father, but it isn’t spelled out as clearly for girls and women.
What I want to share with you is a glimpse of where I am in my journey of exploring and understanding this question. It’s a visual that helps me understand an important aspect of my being a woman: I am cyclical, fluid, connecting. At first, I tried to map out what a woman’s “steps” were, trying to find the parallels to men’s linear “steps” in receiving the offices of the priesthood and becoming like our Heavenly Father. We definitely have some similar steps, and some of our own that are unique to women, but I realized my journey as a woman does not just mirror a man’s.
Through studying the scriptures, women’s cycles, the elements in nature, ancient feminine understandings and practices, and connecting with the Spirit and my Heavenly Mother, this visual is what I have created to help me understand and explore the cyclical, connected nature of being a woman and becoming like my Heavenly Mother. I use this visual meditatively and as a starting place for study and exploration. I want to share it with you to see if it also resonates - or what does and what doesn’t. I want to see if this helps at all in your journey of Becoming. I invite you to explore and celebrate Divine Womanhood with me.
(PS I am currently building content with scriptures, quotes, stories, and questions that explore each of these areas in depth. I would love to receive anything you would like to share with me. If you use this information in any lessons or discussions or what have you, I would just ask that you let me know what you experience and learn.)
What I want to share with you is a glimpse of where I am in my journey of exploring and understanding this question. It’s a visual that helps me understand an important aspect of my being a woman: I am cyclical, fluid, connecting. At first, I tried to map out what a woman’s “steps” were, trying to find the parallels to men’s linear “steps” in receiving the offices of the priesthood and becoming like our Heavenly Father. We definitely have some similar steps, and some of our own that are unique to women, but I realized my journey as a woman does not just mirror a man’s.
Through studying the scriptures, women’s cycles, the elements in nature, ancient feminine understandings and practices, and connecting with the Spirit and my Heavenly Mother, this visual is what I have created to help me understand and explore the cyclical, connected nature of being a woman and becoming like my Heavenly Mother. I use this visual meditatively and as a starting place for study and exploration. I want to share it with you to see if it also resonates - or what does and what doesn’t. I want to see if this helps at all in your journey of Becoming. I invite you to explore and celebrate Divine Womanhood with me.
(PS I am currently building content with scriptures, quotes, stories, and questions that explore each of these areas in depth. I would love to receive anything you would like to share with me. If you use this information in any lessons or discussions or what have you, I would just ask that you let me know what you experience and learn.)
Exploring the Element of Fire: Roles + Relationships
(This is an evolving exploration. Original image and pattern attributed to Amber Richardson.)
One of the most important aspects to understand in this “Element” is that all of the different roles and relationships connect in the center with our “Self,” and that these are permeable lines - fluid and connected. Whatever roles and relationships you find yourself in, the awareness and abilities you are gaining also apply to the other roles and relationships - even if you aren’t experiencing them right now.
*Note: In my experience, the word "Mother" can have a very limited definition, and thus sometimes be triggering and off-putting. My hope is to promote the expansion of the typical definition.
DAUGHTER: We are Daughters of Divinity.
“We come to this earth to nurture and discover the seeds of divine nature that are within us. … We identify with our divine nature as we feel and give the love of our [Parents] in Heaven. We have the agency to nurture it, let it flourish, and help it grow. Peter said we are given “precious promises” that we “might be partakers of the divine nature.” As we understand who we are—daughters of God—we begin to feel those precious promises. Looking out through a window, not just into a mirror, allows us to see ourselves as [Theirs]. We naturally turn to [Them] in prayer, and we are eager to read [Their] words and to do [Their] will. We are able to take our validation vertically from [Them], not horizontally from the world around us or from those on Facebook or Instagram. … Once we begin to see the divinity in ourselves, we can see it in others.” (Rosemary Wixom, “Discovering the Divinity Within”)
Paul said, “The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God.” (Romans 8:16)
SISTER: We are All Sisters.
Story to Study: Abish & Queen Lamoni (Book of Alma, Chapter 19 in the Book of Mormon)
“Though in many ways we are different and unique, we also acknowledge that we are all daughters of the same Heavenly [Parents], which makes us sisters. … To be sisters implies that there is an unbreakable bond between us. Sisters take care of each other, watch out for each other, comfort each other, and are there for each other through thick and thin. The Lord has said, “I say unto you, be one; and if ye are not one ye are not mine.” “ (Bonnie Osarson, “Sisterhood: Oh How We Need Each Other”)
Patricia Holland said “There is nothing that is worth us losing our compassion and sisterhood over. We just need to relax and rejoice in our divine differences. We need to realize that we all desire to serve in the kingdom, using our unique talents and gifts in our own ways. Then we can enjoy our sisterhood and our associations and begin to serve.” (Patricia T. Holland, “‘One Thing Needful’: Becoming Women of Greater Faith in Christ”)
MOTHER: Every woman is a Mother.
Story to Study: Deborah (Judges 4&5 in the Old Testament)
"While we tend to equate motherhood solely with maternity, in the Lord’s language, the word mother has layers of meaning. Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve “the mother of all living”—and they did so before she ever bore a child. Like Eve, our motherhood began before we were born. Just as worthy men were foreordained to hold the priesthood in mortality, righteous women were endowed premortally with the privilege of motherhood. Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us.” (Sheri Dew, "Are We Not All Mothers?")
“Anytime I use the word mother, I am not talking only about women who have given birth or adopted children in this life. I am speaking about all of our Heavenly Parents’ adult daughters. Every woman is a mother by virtue of her eternal divine destiny.” (President Russell M. Nelson, "Sisters' Participation in the Gathering of Israel")
WIFE: We can work to build wholeness together.
“Genesis 3: 16 states that Adam is to “rule over” Eve, but this doesn’t make Adam a dictator. . . over in “rule over” uses the Hebrew bet, which means ruling with, not ruling over. The concept of interdependent, equal partners is well-grounded in the doctrine of the restored gospel. Eve was Adam’s “help meet” (Genesis 2:18). The original Hebrew for meet means that Eve was adequate for, or equal to, Adam. She wasn’t his servant or his subordinate.” (Elder Bruce C. Hafen)
“She labored beside her companion. Adam held the priesthood. Eve served in matriarchal partnership with the patriarchal priesthood. So today, each wife may join with her husband as a partner unified in purpose. Scriptures state clearly, “Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord” (1 Cor. 11:11). “They twain shall be one flesh” (Matt. 19:6; Mark 10:8; D&C 49:16). Marvelously, it takes a man and a woman to make a man or a woman. Without union of the sexes, neither can we exist, nor can we become perfect. Ordinary and imperfect people can build each other through their wholeness together. The complete contribution of one partner to the other is essential to exaltation. This is so “that the earth might answer the end of its creation” (D&C 49:16). So labor and love in partnership. Honor your companion. Any sense of competition for place or position is not appropriate for either partner, especially when enlightened by scriptural understanding. (President Russell M. Nelson, “Lessons from Eve”)
“As covenant-keeping women and men, we need to lift each other and help each other become the people the Lord would have us become. And we need to work together to lift the rising generation and help them reach their divine potential as heirs of eternal life. For example, our two hands are similar to each other but not exactly the same. In fact, they are exact opposites, but they complement each other and are suited to each other. Working together, they are stronger.” (Linda K. Burton “We’ll Ascend Together”)
One of the most important aspects to understand in this “Element” is that all of the different roles and relationships connect in the center with our “Self,” and that these are permeable lines - fluid and connected. Whatever roles and relationships you find yourself in, the awareness and abilities you are gaining also apply to the other roles and relationships - even if you aren’t experiencing them right now.
*Note: In my experience, the word "Mother" can have a very limited definition, and thus sometimes be triggering and off-putting. My hope is to promote the expansion of the typical definition.
DAUGHTER: We are Daughters of Divinity.
“We come to this earth to nurture and discover the seeds of divine nature that are within us. … We identify with our divine nature as we feel and give the love of our [Parents] in Heaven. We have the agency to nurture it, let it flourish, and help it grow. Peter said we are given “precious promises” that we “might be partakers of the divine nature.” As we understand who we are—daughters of God—we begin to feel those precious promises. Looking out through a window, not just into a mirror, allows us to see ourselves as [Theirs]. We naturally turn to [Them] in prayer, and we are eager to read [Their] words and to do [Their] will. We are able to take our validation vertically from [Them], not horizontally from the world around us or from those on Facebook or Instagram. … Once we begin to see the divinity in ourselves, we can see it in others.” (Rosemary Wixom, “Discovering the Divinity Within”)
Paul said, “The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God.” (Romans 8:16)
SISTER: We are All Sisters.
Story to Study: Abish & Queen Lamoni (Book of Alma, Chapter 19 in the Book of Mormon)
“Though in many ways we are different and unique, we also acknowledge that we are all daughters of the same Heavenly [Parents], which makes us sisters. … To be sisters implies that there is an unbreakable bond between us. Sisters take care of each other, watch out for each other, comfort each other, and are there for each other through thick and thin. The Lord has said, “I say unto you, be one; and if ye are not one ye are not mine.” “ (Bonnie Osarson, “Sisterhood: Oh How We Need Each Other”)
Patricia Holland said “There is nothing that is worth us losing our compassion and sisterhood over. We just need to relax and rejoice in our divine differences. We need to realize that we all desire to serve in the kingdom, using our unique talents and gifts in our own ways. Then we can enjoy our sisterhood and our associations and begin to serve.” (Patricia T. Holland, “‘One Thing Needful’: Becoming Women of Greater Faith in Christ”)
MOTHER: Every woman is a Mother.
Story to Study: Deborah (Judges 4&5 in the Old Testament)
"While we tend to equate motherhood solely with maternity, in the Lord’s language, the word mother has layers of meaning. Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve “the mother of all living”—and they did so before she ever bore a child. Like Eve, our motherhood began before we were born. Just as worthy men were foreordained to hold the priesthood in mortality, righteous women were endowed premortally with the privilege of motherhood. Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us.” (Sheri Dew, "Are We Not All Mothers?")
“Anytime I use the word mother, I am not talking only about women who have given birth or adopted children in this life. I am speaking about all of our Heavenly Parents’ adult daughters. Every woman is a mother by virtue of her eternal divine destiny.” (President Russell M. Nelson, "Sisters' Participation in the Gathering of Israel")
WIFE: We can work to build wholeness together.
“Genesis 3: 16 states that Adam is to “rule over” Eve, but this doesn’t make Adam a dictator. . . over in “rule over” uses the Hebrew bet, which means ruling with, not ruling over. The concept of interdependent, equal partners is well-grounded in the doctrine of the restored gospel. Eve was Adam’s “help meet” (Genesis 2:18). The original Hebrew for meet means that Eve was adequate for, or equal to, Adam. She wasn’t his servant or his subordinate.” (Elder Bruce C. Hafen)
“She labored beside her companion. Adam held the priesthood. Eve served in matriarchal partnership with the patriarchal priesthood. So today, each wife may join with her husband as a partner unified in purpose. Scriptures state clearly, “Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord” (1 Cor. 11:11). “They twain shall be one flesh” (Matt. 19:6; Mark 10:8; D&C 49:16). Marvelously, it takes a man and a woman to make a man or a woman. Without union of the sexes, neither can we exist, nor can we become perfect. Ordinary and imperfect people can build each other through their wholeness together. The complete contribution of one partner to the other is essential to exaltation. This is so “that the earth might answer the end of its creation” (D&C 49:16). So labor and love in partnership. Honor your companion. Any sense of competition for place or position is not appropriate for either partner, especially when enlightened by scriptural understanding. (President Russell M. Nelson, “Lessons from Eve”)
“As covenant-keeping women and men, we need to lift each other and help each other become the people the Lord would have us become. And we need to work together to lift the rising generation and help them reach their divine potential as heirs of eternal life. For example, our two hands are similar to each other but not exactly the same. In fact, they are exact opposites, but they complement each other and are suited to each other. Working together, they are stronger.” (Linda K. Burton “We’ll Ascend Together”)
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This image is a P.S. for right now. I feel that the exploration of these roles/titles is an important one. I would love to learn your thoughts about them.
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Here is a linear look at what I call “The Rites of Passage” through the Seasons of Womanhood
Pre-Mortal World : Creation + War in Heaven
Birth and Name Blessing
Age of Accountability, Baptism, and Gift of the Holy Ghost (Around 8 years old)
Menarche and Maidenhood (Around 12 years old)
Menstruation
Join the Relief Society (Around 18 years old)
Personal Ministry: Receive your Endowment, Life Missions, and possibly Marriage
Woman/Mother in Israel : Sister, Nurturer, Community Builder + possibly Mother: Pregnancy, Childbirth, Post-partum, Child-rearing
Matriarch/Wise Woman : Pre-Menopause, Menopause + Post-Menopause
Pre-Mortal World : Creation + War in Heaven
As a spirit of truth, you existed with your Heavenly Parents. You helped to create the Earth and the Heavens. When time came to choose to come to Earth or stay behind, you chose to come to Earth. You may have celebrated as Eve partook of the apple, and wept as your Brother, Jesus Christ, suffered in Gethsemane.
Birth and Name Blessing
You came to Earth as an infant, through the sacrifice of a choice Mother. Your spirit was given a body, and through Water and Blood you were born. Everyone’s birth is different, and we are all born into various situations. Regardless of the situation we were born into, we are given the opportunity to use our agency to choose how we respond. You may have received a Name Blessing as an infant, or at a different time. This is a special blessing giving you your name and anything else the speaker feels directed by the Spirit to say.
Age of Accountability, Baptism, and Gift of the Holy Ghost (Around 8 years old)
As you reach the age of 8, your critical mind starts to form and you start to be better able to discern good from evil. Around this time, you may be baptized--which symbolizes the washing away of your sins, made possible by Christ. You can renew this every Sunday with the Sacrament. You may also receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost--which allows the Holy Ghost to be with you constantly if you choose.
Menarche and Maidenhood (Around 12 years old)
Menarche is the start of your Menstrual Cycle. In ancient times, this was the time when a girl starts to become a woman, but in western cultures, it is typically viewed as when a girl becomes a youth/teenager/maiden. You move into a space that is a bit more complicated than childhood, which can be hard. There are also lots of wonderful things about this time of your life!
Menstruation
Your Menstrual Cycle happens monthly--although for some women it is unpredictable. Menstruation is one phase during four phases of your cycle--it is the phase where your uterine lining sheds, which then bleeds out your vagina. Something special to think about is the symbolism of Blood, especially with regards to Christ and the shedding of His Blood in the Garden of Gethsemane. To learn more, turn to the MENSTRUAL CYCLE AND PHASES and FURTHER EXPLORATION pages.
Join the Relief Society (Around 18 years old)
The Relief Society is God’s organization on the Earth especially for women. It is an inspired and inspiring group to be a part of! Restored in the mid-1800’s by the first women members and Joseph Smith,, it still continues strong today, providing relief and bringing people to Christ. To learn more, visit and read https://www.lds.org/relief-society/daughters-in-my-kingdom?lang=eng
Personal Ministry: Receive your Endowment, Life Missions, and possibly Marriage
As you head into Womanhood, you will start to learn how you can serve those around you--your family, friends, and community. You have special gifts that you been developing and will continue to develop, that will be important in how you learn, grow, and serve during your life. As you start to understand your Personal Ministry, or Mission, you will be led by the Spirit and use your agency in discovering how to use your time and resources--continuing your education, serving a mission, getting married, working in your community, etc. You may enter the temple if you choose, and receive your Endowment--a special gift of power from God as you make special covenants with your Heavenly Parents. Your training as an apprentice to Heavenly Mother (becoming a Queen and a Priestess) deepens and develops.
Woman/Mother in Israel : Sister, Nurturer, Community Builder + possibly Mother: Pregnancy, Childbirth, Post-partum, Child-rearing
As you continue discovering and acting upon your Personal Ministry, your sphere of influence will grow. You will continue to grow in your mission for the family of God--thus becoming a Mother in Israel, whatever that mission is.
Matriarch/Wise Woman : Pre-Menopause, Menopause + Post-Menopause
Aging is a beautiful, and sometimes difficult, process. As you move into your later years, you will experience a season of transition and transformation--Menopause. Your Menstruation stops and your body experiences a transformation that prepares you to enter a season of embodied wisdom, grace, and power. Amazing.
Another resource is Valerie Hudson's inspiring article here.
Pre-Mortal World : Creation + War in Heaven
Birth and Name Blessing
Age of Accountability, Baptism, and Gift of the Holy Ghost (Around 8 years old)
Menarche and Maidenhood (Around 12 years old)
Menstruation
Join the Relief Society (Around 18 years old)
Personal Ministry: Receive your Endowment, Life Missions, and possibly Marriage
Woman/Mother in Israel : Sister, Nurturer, Community Builder + possibly Mother: Pregnancy, Childbirth, Post-partum, Child-rearing
Matriarch/Wise Woman : Pre-Menopause, Menopause + Post-Menopause
Pre-Mortal World : Creation + War in Heaven
As a spirit of truth, you existed with your Heavenly Parents. You helped to create the Earth and the Heavens. When time came to choose to come to Earth or stay behind, you chose to come to Earth. You may have celebrated as Eve partook of the apple, and wept as your Brother, Jesus Christ, suffered in Gethsemane.
Birth and Name Blessing
You came to Earth as an infant, through the sacrifice of a choice Mother. Your spirit was given a body, and through Water and Blood you were born. Everyone’s birth is different, and we are all born into various situations. Regardless of the situation we were born into, we are given the opportunity to use our agency to choose how we respond. You may have received a Name Blessing as an infant, or at a different time. This is a special blessing giving you your name and anything else the speaker feels directed by the Spirit to say.
Age of Accountability, Baptism, and Gift of the Holy Ghost (Around 8 years old)
As you reach the age of 8, your critical mind starts to form and you start to be better able to discern good from evil. Around this time, you may be baptized--which symbolizes the washing away of your sins, made possible by Christ. You can renew this every Sunday with the Sacrament. You may also receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost--which allows the Holy Ghost to be with you constantly if you choose.
Menarche and Maidenhood (Around 12 years old)
Menarche is the start of your Menstrual Cycle. In ancient times, this was the time when a girl starts to become a woman, but in western cultures, it is typically viewed as when a girl becomes a youth/teenager/maiden. You move into a space that is a bit more complicated than childhood, which can be hard. There are also lots of wonderful things about this time of your life!
Menstruation
Your Menstrual Cycle happens monthly--although for some women it is unpredictable. Menstruation is one phase during four phases of your cycle--it is the phase where your uterine lining sheds, which then bleeds out your vagina. Something special to think about is the symbolism of Blood, especially with regards to Christ and the shedding of His Blood in the Garden of Gethsemane. To learn more, turn to the MENSTRUAL CYCLE AND PHASES and FURTHER EXPLORATION pages.
Join the Relief Society (Around 18 years old)
The Relief Society is God’s organization on the Earth especially for women. It is an inspired and inspiring group to be a part of! Restored in the mid-1800’s by the first women members and Joseph Smith,, it still continues strong today, providing relief and bringing people to Christ. To learn more, visit and read https://www.lds.org/relief-society/daughters-in-my-kingdom?lang=eng
Personal Ministry: Receive your Endowment, Life Missions, and possibly Marriage
As you head into Womanhood, you will start to learn how you can serve those around you--your family, friends, and community. You have special gifts that you been developing and will continue to develop, that will be important in how you learn, grow, and serve during your life. As you start to understand your Personal Ministry, or Mission, you will be led by the Spirit and use your agency in discovering how to use your time and resources--continuing your education, serving a mission, getting married, working in your community, etc. You may enter the temple if you choose, and receive your Endowment--a special gift of power from God as you make special covenants with your Heavenly Parents. Your training as an apprentice to Heavenly Mother (becoming a Queen and a Priestess) deepens and develops.
Woman/Mother in Israel : Sister, Nurturer, Community Builder + possibly Mother: Pregnancy, Childbirth, Post-partum, Child-rearing
As you continue discovering and acting upon your Personal Ministry, your sphere of influence will grow. You will continue to grow in your mission for the family of God--thus becoming a Mother in Israel, whatever that mission is.
Matriarch/Wise Woman : Pre-Menopause, Menopause + Post-Menopause
Aging is a beautiful, and sometimes difficult, process. As you move into your later years, you will experience a season of transition and transformation--Menopause. Your Menstruation stops and your body experiences a transformation that prepares you to enter a season of embodied wisdom, grace, and power. Amazing.
Another resource is Valerie Hudson's inspiring article here.
